New part! I'm writing this one fairly insanely fast since my friend and I are holding our fics hostage. She gets a chapter, I get a chapter, ect... and since I REALLY want more of her fic I'm writing fast as humanly possible! Oh and by the way... *pimps friend's fic*:
qualli.livejournal.com/18914.html?style=mine#cutid1<b>One Week Later</b>
Chase silently groaned as he felt his co-workers eyes burn into his back while he fixed his tea.
Today was his first day back at work since...everything happened.
All week, while he'd been at home resting and trying to regain some of the weight he'd lost, everyday, at least two or three times a day one of them would call, or show up, and drive him absolutely batty, over what he'd eaten, if he was eating his veggies, if he was sleeping enough, if he was taking his vitamins, and all around being Pregnancy Nazi's.
And it wasn't just Cameron like one would expect. Oh no. It was all of them. Cameron, Foreman, House, even Wilson! All hovering, and checking up on him constantly.
He turned, taking a sip from his mug and rolled his eyes at the three pairs of eyes burning at his mug. "It's tea! Tea! Not coffee! Not caffeinated tea. Herbal, safe for pregnant woman, and yes before you ask I checked, tea. So you can all stop glaring at me this minute!"
"Chase we're just worried about you. You're going though something no male has ever gone though before, and you've already had a rough time of it so far. Have you gained back the weight you lost? You know you should start gaining weight soon..." Cameron said trying to be soothing.
"Right now he, or she is the size of a kidney bean! Yes I'm trying to regain the weight I lost but I shouldn't be gaining any obvious amount of weight for a while now. I should only gain about 5 pounds by the time I'm 15 weeks. Maybe a little more since I'm already a bit under weight." At their looks he snorted. "You're not the only ones who sent to medical school, and have spent the last week doing research."
"Very good wombat. Keep it up and I might have to stop with the dumb blond jokes!" House snarked while he poured coffee into his favorite red mug.
Chase snorted, but was actually glad that maybe now things could get back to normal. Hell House snarking at him was a wonderful break from the annoying concern. He slid into his seat at the conference table and sipped his tea while reading the file House had bought them this morning.
"Alright! Our patient is busy dying in interesting ways so lets get busy diagnosing!" House said brightly moving over to the white board.
Chase hid a grin as he starting making suggestions as to the diagnosis. "Maybe drugs?"
---
"Hey, Mommy! Heel!" Chase shook his head suppressing a grin as House poked his head into the lab and called for him. He quickly pushed back from the counter and with a quick nod to Cameron making sure she'd finish he joined House walking beside him down the hall.
"Alright time to face the music. I've been dodging Cuddy all week and avoiding telling her but times up. We have to tell her. We're going to need her help with this."
"Oh....god." Chase moaned.
"Oh relax. It won't be that bad. I have the tape so hopefully we'll get though this without winding up in straightjacket's."
Chase silently glared at House the whole way to Cuddy's office.
"What do want now House?" Cuddy asked tiredly not looking up from her paperwork.
"What? I thought you were eager to know what was wrong with Chase last week?" House asked innocently.
Cuddy's head shot up and she spotted Chase trying to hide behind House. "He's back? Oh and you're finely going to tell me what's been going on in my own hospital? I'm shocked! And slightly disappointed since you've actually been doing your clinic hours while you've avoiding me."
"Oh you don't want to know then? So should we go?" House asked somehow managing to inject a angelically innocent tone into his voice. All that was missing was a hallo.
"Get your ass in here House!"
House smirked and limped the rest of the way into the office and made him self comfortable in one of the chairs in front of the desk.
Chase looked like he was going before a firing squad as he sunk into the chair next to House.
"Chase is going to be a mommy." House said without warning.
Chase moaned and slumped lower in his chair covering his face.
Cuddy slowly raised a eyebrow. "Chase got someone pregnant? What does that have to do with him being sick, then missing last week?"
"No. Chase is the mother. Still not quiet sure on the father part, but Chase is defiantly the mom!"
Cuddy pinched the bridge of her nose, while sighing deeply. "House haven't we talked about you being drunk at work? Or at the very least not this early in the day!"
House glared at her then the snickering Chase. "<i>Any</i>way, as I was saying Chase here is going to be a new mommy in, let see...about 32 weeks."
Cuddy snorted. "House if you're just going to joke around, you can go back to clinic duty. With an extra three hours this week."
"Why does everyone always think I'm joking? I'm serious. 100% the honest truth Chase is 8 weeks pregnant. I have the ultra sound I took last week when we bought him in right here." House said pulling the tape out. "The reason Chase was so sick? Hyperemesis Gravidarum. We treated him with a IV to re-hydrate him and stabilize his electrolytes and we gave him diphenhydramine, then slowly got him back on solid foods and discharged him after two days."
Cuddy stood and walked around her desk and stood over House, hands on her hips. "What do you want House? Applause? Fine." She rolled her eyes and clapped her hands together slowly twice. "You're going to whole new insane lengths in your pranks. Congratulations. Now get a life!"
House smirked and poked Chase with the tape. Chase groaned and stood, popping the tape into the TV/VCR in the corner for just such occasions of someone needing to show Cuddy something, then sank back down into the chair wishing he could sink though he floor.
Cuddy watched the ultra sound recording for several moments then snorted again. "Like I said you've gone to new insane lengths for a prank. Even managing to find a ultra sound recording matching you're little joke. But games over. I'm not amused. I either want the truth, or I want you out of my office and in the clinic, working, <i>now</i>."
"Still don't believe me? Want to go the clinic? Do a ultrasound on Chase your self? Pick out the machine your self, run it your self, make sure I'm not meddling?"
Cuddy frowned looking back and fourth between House and Chase.
House poked Chase again. "Explanation time, wombat. Tell her your weird little story you told me."
"Visited my cousin, magic is real, demons are real, annoyed a pregnant woman, got cursed, now I'm pregnant." Chase snapped shortly.
Cuddy slowly looked from the video, to Chase's stomach. "I- this- how?"
"Well we're still not quiet sure on the how, since he obviously lacks the correct organs, but clearly <i>something</i> is keeping the kid alive and producing hormones if you go by the blood tests and his mood swings."
"<i>Shut up</i>, House!" Chase snapped.
"See?" House asked gesturing at Chase.
Cuddy fell back just barely hitting the edge up her desk. "This- this is impossible. This can't be real."
"How do you think I feel?" Chase huffed still trying to set House's head on fire mentally.
"So! Want to join us in Exam room one?"
"What? What are you talking about? She clearly believes us now!"
"Yes but you still need a pre-natal checkup. We only got you not vomiting your self to death and home last week, we still have lots and lots of tests to run!" House told him with a blood chilling evil grin.
"Oh....God." Chase moaned as House stood and started tugging on his collar.
"Come on Mommy! No getting out of it!"
"I should have listened to Cordy...." Chase whimpered following House from Cuddy's office, with the shell shocked Cuddy trailing after them.
---
(AN: Ahem. WARNING! I'm attempting to write heavily medical filled stuff in this part! Having never been pregnant or a doctor...this is all based on hours researching on Google. Forgive me now before you even start reading.)
Chase crossed his arms over his chest and scowled as he and Cuddy followed House into the exam room. "This really isn't necessary you know."
"Oh quit your whining. As you informed us this morning you did make it though medical school, so you know pregnant woman need prenatal exams. So sit down and shut up."
Chase sighed and pulled off his lab coat and folded it before laying it on the counter and boosted him self up onto the exam table.
House picked up the phone next to the door and quickly dialed. "Get Chase's file and bring it to exam one."
At Cuddy and Chase's questioning looks he answered, "Wilson. I'm keeping Chase's medical records under lock and key in my office. Can't have our little koala here getting dissected, now can we?"
Chase scowled harder and looked unhappy over the whole situation.
House just leaned against the wall looking amused.
A minute later there was a quick knock on the door before House opened it letting Wilson in.
House took the chart from him and flipped though it for a moment before turning to Chase. "Ok wombat. Hop on the scale. Let's see how horribly under weight you are."
Chase rolled his eyes and slid off the table and stepped onto the scale.
"Huh. 5'8 150 lbs. Within normal range. Not as bad as I thought. Then why do you look so damn tiny?" House said while marking down the reading.
Chase leaned over and scowled at the reading. "150? I lost that much? God I must have been sicker then I thought..."
"Uh-huh. You sick little thing you. See why you're not allowed to care for your self? Wilson get a blood pressure reading. Ok I guess we can cross off all the tests involving pelvic exams and cervix's. Unless you've grown something you've forgotten to mention?"
Chase nearly gave himself whiplash shaking his head no.
"130/80." Wilson commented pulling the cuff off Chase's arm.
"Right. Good." House scribbled on the chart. "Since I'm not completely sadistic we'll leave the urine sample till later when the room is less full of people,"
Chase flinched but was still slightly relieved at the later part.
"Cameron got her usual huge, extensive history last week. So for now we'll move on to the blood tests, all the standards, CBC, blood type and Rh antibodies and to see if you are immune to rubella, for sexually transmitted infections, for hepatitis, blah, blah, blah. I think you get the drift. And if you don't I'm revoking your medical license. Then the physical exam, and will you stop looking panicked! I already said you lack the body parts to do any pelvic exams!"
Chase blushed embarrassed over his instant panic. "I- its- I just- shut up!"
House snorted and put down the chart and went to the sink to wash his hands. "I wouldn't be mean to the guy about to poke you with needles, Mom."
Chase groaned and just held his arm out. "I hate my life. I should of became a priest. I wouldn't be pregnant if I was a priest."
Cuddy patted him on the shoulder. "It'll be ok Chase. We're all going to get you though this. We're all going to take good care of you."
Chase looked horrified and looked over at Wilson. "Oh God I've just gained another Pregnancy Nazi haven't I?"
Wilson swallowed a grin and nodded. "I'm afraid so."
House snapped his gloves on with a slightly crazy look in his eyes.
"House! Stop trying to traumatize Chase more then he already is!" Cuddy snapped still petting Chase's shoulder comfortingly.
House pouted but stopped looking crazy while he wrapped the rubber tourniquet around Chase's upper arm, wipped a spot off with a alcohol pad, then swiftly inserted the needle and started filling vials with blood to run all the various tests.
When he finished getting the blood he needed he released the tourniquet, pressed a piece of gauze against the spot, pulled the needle out, and picked up Chase's other hand and pressed it against the spot to hold it while he open a bandaid to put over the gauze. "Ok time for the physical part of the exam. Shirt off. Yay for our poor bleeding eyes!"
"My shirts are not <i>that</i> bad!" Chase snapped, glaring while he started unbuttoning his shirt.
"It's orange! <i>Neon</i> orange!" House snapped pointed at the shirt in question.
Chase pouted. "I like it."
"Well no one else on planet Earth does. At least no one with eye sight. Remind me to add a vision test to Chase's other tests." He told Wilson.
Chase sighed and folded his shirt and tossed it at the lab coat on the counter.
"Lay back." Chase complied with the order and slid back on the table.
"Having any problems? Any thing we should know about?" House asked while he carefully probed around Chase's abdomen.
"Nah. Little morning sickness. Nothing unusual."
"Morning sickness? Even with the meds?" House asked frowning.
"No where near as bad as it was. Not even throwing up. Just a little nausea when I wake up. A few crackers later and I'm ok."
House stepped back and started scribbling on the chart again. "Everything looks good." He grabbed a sample cup off the counter and tossed it to Chase. "Fill that up and we're set till next week."
"Next week? Normal prenatal exams are around once a month or so."
"Yeah. <i>Normal</i>. What you're not. We're considering this a high risk pregnancy. You're the first known pregnant man and we have no idea what to expect. So get used to being poked and prodded on a regular bases, Mum!"
Chase whimpered and flopped back on the table still clutching the cup. "I should have listened to Cordy and moved to LA."